You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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