I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
