I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
