Can i not drive my cunt home
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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