I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
