Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
