By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
