Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
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i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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