just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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