Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
