hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
