But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm really busy with my period
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