it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
