let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
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He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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