Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
