my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize