Someone shattered a urinal.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
