I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
