Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
