Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
