Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Farmville is her only friend.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
