Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
