I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
