just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
