Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
