u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
