Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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