She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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