real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize