Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
