sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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