She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
