I look better un-naked...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
