She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
