dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
