But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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