we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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