Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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