so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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