Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You're like the curious george of whores
sick fucks of a feather flock together
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
pray to the hookup gods
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
