i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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