so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
