Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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