I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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