My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
