dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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