Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
