Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
