Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
