no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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