I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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