perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
