whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
