Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
