She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I did not marry a roomba.
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