It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
