so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
