I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
