DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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