He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
