I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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