Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
