my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
